I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
