He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
