ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
smell my finger.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
