fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
