so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
