proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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