ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
