hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
