We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
