Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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