There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
