i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
