are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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