I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
