Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
