Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You may now shotgun with the bride
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
