I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
