just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
