He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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