so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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