I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
