Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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