He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
