erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
