let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
