Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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