I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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