this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
