I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
