I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
