i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
