I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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