you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
