It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
