Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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