No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
