So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
