that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
