Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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