Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
