P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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