I cannot find my penis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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