So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it's like iHOP with fire
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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