The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
