Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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