it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
