im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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