Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
