So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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