so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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