Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
