dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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