The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
