I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
