GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
